I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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