She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
should my penis look like a turkey
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
