i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize