If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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