mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
