At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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