Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
