ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
love makes seman taste better
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
