i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
