obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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