New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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