Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
