Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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