grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
