Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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