I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
