butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
