someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just invented taco cereal.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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