never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
