I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
