I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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