LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
