I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
