Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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