Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
