I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
