I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
They took my balls.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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