used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
