walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
