her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
