I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
