hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
