the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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