did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
