absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
