and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
