Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
her vagine was all disorganized.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
