I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
