I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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