if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
