Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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