Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
