The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize