That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
