so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize