I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
