Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Farmville is her only friend.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
