Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
