your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
