Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
