My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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