Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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