Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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