I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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