Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
