i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
