The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
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