census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
