just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
