i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
