I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
And then he peed in my hair
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