I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
