I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize