just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Randomize
