Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
