no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize