Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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