I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
