he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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