I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Panties = found
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
