Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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