If i come over, it means nothing
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize