So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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