I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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