All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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