Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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