i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
