Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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