fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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