Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it's like iHOP with fire
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
