Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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