someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
