Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Come see our sink grown plant.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
