First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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