your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
