i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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